Mourn My Love
by EnderGrievesForMe14
Summary: SLASH Random drabbles for POTO.  Rated for violence/swearing mostly.  Cure for writer's block.
1. Confusion

**So, this is my apology for not posting like I was supposed to. I have about five of these lined up at the moment. Really, they're just a cure for my writer's block and exercises to improve what little writing skill I have. These are prompted by songs I was listening to at the time, though I'm not exactly sure what this first one is. Somewhat bad angst? Yeah. Probably something like that.**

**Disclaimer: You would know if I owned this. Sadly, those rights go to Gaston Leroux, Andrew Lloyd Webber, and various other people included in the making of the many movies. But I give credit to Leroux. ;D**

_What does he see in me?_

That question had haunted Erik since their relationship had begun two months ago. He had tried to ignore it and be happy, but it was always there. He couldn't stop his paranoid thoughts; he had never been able to. Each night his lover would come to him, and each morning he would leave early. This was all good and well; the vicomte _was_ a busy man, after all, and he didn't need anyone getting suspicious of him. Still...

He studied his lover with keen eyes as he slept, the question taunting him again and again. Really, Raoul had no reason to love him. He claimed he did but had never specified exactly why. Sighing exasperatedly, he tightened his grip on the vicomte. The boy didn't seem bothered by this, instead settling more closely against his chest.

"Raoul," he murmured into his hair, keeping his voice low enough that it wouldn't wake his lover, "I love you so much. I just don't understand... I gave you no reason to love me, yet you come back to me every night. Why do you do this? I wish I knew why you claimed to love me..." With a sigh, he settled down for a troubled night.

When he woke the next morning, Raoul had left as expected. He'd gotten so used to this that it didn't wake him anymore. He sighed in defeat, his hope dashed instantly. Grumbling to himself, he roused himself from bed and quickly got dressed. Once that was done, he made his way out and to his organ. He was surprised to find Raoul sitting on the bench, swinging his legs childishly as he watched Erik with bright, intelligent eyes.

Without a word, Raoul was up and in his arms. He clung to him for a moment, shocked, but allowed the boy to kiss him. "I love you, Erik," he whispered against his lips, "because you are perfection in my eyes. I would have you no other way, homicidal tendencies and all."

Erik, for once, was speechless.

**So, yeah... Wasn't that great, to be honest. Yes, I know there are grammatical errors. One day, when I'm not so lazy, I shall return and fix them. ;D Until then, review? I'd love to know what to improve on.**


	2. Restless

**So, as another apology, I am posting two of these. I know they're short. Trust me, I know. *cries* Anyways, this was inspired by (surprise!) Fever by Adam Lambert. I will try my best to make up for the lack of creativity/length in the future.**

**Disclaimer: Sadly, I still don't own this. Oh, but if I did…**

Raoul chuckled. Erik was acting oddly endearing tonight, and he was pretty sure why. They hadn't seen each other in weeks because of work. Erik had a new masterpiece in the works and Raoul had been running from one errand to another, practically cleaning up all the managers' messes.

Erik growled at the sound, but the playful look remained. He slunk over to the vicomte, purring, "It's been ages, my dear. Perhaps we should retire early tonight...?" Raoul grinned mischievously, unaffected by his lover's anxiety.

"Retire may be the wrong word, love," he returned, "But I do believe you're right. It's been far too long." Erik almost cried his glee to the world; instead, he winked and headed to the bedroom, positive that Raoul would follow and cure him of his restlessness. He had been alone _far_ too long.

**Reviews get you candy. And not the creepy white van variety. ^.^**


	3. Another

**Another short one-shot! :D I have been motivated by Daichu, who put me on their author alerts, so I wanted to give a shout-out! Also, I want to again thank anyone who has reviewed my work so far or even just read it. It makes me smile to know that someone is interested! The inspiration for this one was **_**Teenagers**_** by My Chemical Romance. Trust me, it makes no sense. ^.^**

**This actually hasn't been edited very well, so if anyone spots errors of any sort I would be thrilled if you could point them out. Thanks a lot, guys!**

**Disclaimer: Still not mine! Nor is the song which this is based off of!**

Erik had always absolutely _despised_ anyone under the age of 18. It could've been the lack of intelligence, or even the childish air they all held. He wasn't exactly sure what it was, but those big doleful eyes they used on adults unnerved him to no end. Then the later years came and they became positively unruly.

Which was why it surprised him that now, twenty years after finally finding his love, he felt his eyes tear up at the sight of an adult take the place of his child. His lover had insisted on raising a child together; how could he resist those eyes that had somehow been preserved for adult years as well as child? So, eighteen years ago, they adopted a little boy named Harry to raise as their own. Those eighteen years had been hell for the man who had always gotten his way, but now he regretted not enjoying them more.

As the child turned to wave one more time at his parents, Erik lost it. He started sobbing openly. He had finally done something _right_ in his life and it showed in the happy eyes of his son. Harry gave him a reassuring smile, having been warned beforehand that this might happen, and turned to enter the carriage that would take him away.

Erik watched through teary eyes as he left, sad yet so happy. It was an odd combination, but it helped that his lover held comforting arms around his waist, head resting on his shoulder.

"Our little boy's grown up, Erik," came a familiar sigh, "Now whatever will we do with the sudden free time?" Erik laughed shortly, turning his head to give a chaste kiss in reply.

"Let's get another?" he suggested, closing his eyes as it received a warm chuckle. Erik smiled but quickly turned it to a sneer. "Don't laugh at me, fop. It was just an idea."

Raoul shook his head and laughed, "Not at you, dear. Never at you. It's just the thought of another eighteen years..." He shuddered and it was Erik's turn to laugh at him.

"Alright," he murmured, "Let's wait a bit then. I'm perfectly fine with staying with you, anyways." Raoul's content smile was the only response he would need. Sighing happily, he led his husband back into their home.

**Hope you enjoyed! Reviews would be nice, but they're not required! Hope you liked! (Lots of exclamation points, I know!)**


	4. Bitter

**As always, I don't own anything. This is loosely based off of the song **_**My Immortal**_** by Evanescence, though it really doesn't tie in that well. *shrugs***

**A/N: This is my pathetic excuse at angst. Don't say I didn't warn you.**

Raoul stood atop the roof of the Opera Populaire. He stared blankly at the swirling snow around him, noting vaguely that this was exactly when and where he'd comforted Christine a few years ago. He smiled bitterly; that hadn't worked out as he'd hoped, had it? It had just been a childish dream and she had broken him soon after, leaving him for places unknown. She had wanted away from the opera, the phantom, but most of all, Raoul. He had broken then, but pulled himself back together with sheer willpower.

He continued funding the opera house but avoided people for awhile. Then the phantom, of all people, had searched him out. Their relationship had gone steady for another two years. Raoul found himself content; he could even go so far to say he was _happy_ again. Erik had proven to be just the person he needed, and vice versa. Then, only a week ago, Christine had returned.

She always ruined everything, didn't she? He loved Erik; he could no longer deny it. But when she returned, and Erik began ignoring him in favor of her... Then, the final straw had been tonight, hadn't it? He had hoped all week that it was nothing, that Erik was his, but he'd always known. Erik didn't love him. He loved Christine.

He had gone to visit Erik in his home, something he hadn't done in a long time. But he had been _worried_, damn it! The phantom had recently become rather distant from him, hardly seeing him and even avoiding mention of Christine when they did speak.

What he found had crushed him. Christine had apparently made her way down before him, for when he arrived it was to find the two in a lover's embrace. He had immediately felt angry, but then common sense took over and he was only sad. They hadn't seen him coming in; he knew by now how to avoid Erik's traps.

So he stumbled out quietly, silently cursing Erik and especially Christine. He couldn't fix himself again; not this time. This time he truly had been in love. There was no repairing the shattered pieces of his heart; he felt like a part of his soul had died.

Now, only a short while later, he stood on the roof clad in only summer clothing. He had started shivering ages ago, but clenched his hands into fists to stop himself. He was far too gone to care anymore. What did it matter anymore? He had been betrayed.

He sighed and drew his sword, staring at it for the length of a moment. "You are always in my thoughts, Erik," he whispered painfully. Then, swiftly, he dove the sword into his arm. He hissed at the deep wound and watched as the blood ran its course down his arm.

He dropped to his knees, clutching his arm close to his body. Already he felt weak and dizzy. Tears finally began their descent and he screamed to the heavens, ready for it to end.

"Raoul, you fool!" a stern voice called distantly, "I love only you!" Raoul smiled hazily as Erik rushed out of the opera house and to his side. He reached up with his good arm and placed his last will in the hands of his lover.

"I love you, Erik," he mumbled, "That's why... Please, be happy with Christine." Erik's eyes widened in understanding, but before he could reply, Raoul was dead to the world.

**Reviews are always nice for inspiration, but no worries. ;P Hope you liked it.**


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